Top 10 Reasons that I Suspect that I Might Be Too Much of an Elitist to Serve in US Public Office.

Monday, October 6, 2008

During this election cycle, I've repeatedly heard folks attacking Barrack Obama as being an elitist.  At first, I didn't quite understand what this all meant.  This was particularly the case given that Obama grew up working class in a single parent family, while John McCain grew up fairly privileged and is now richer than fuck after marrying a rich lady.  However, I think after thinking about this for the last few weeks that I kind of understand what Obama's detractors have been going on about.  However, in that understanding, I've realized that I may be elitist.  Here's why:

10.  I only have one apartment.  This must indicate that I must feel that my shitty little student apartment is particularly special.  I could give other domiciles a chance and live in them too.  I mean John McCain has so many houses that he can't even remember how many he owns.  He's willing to give every house out there a chance.  Me, I think my apartment's so special that I reject all others.

9.  When I was little, I was lucky enough that my parents took time reading to me.  As such I know words other than "maverick" that have more than two syllables.  

8.  I know that we're not neighbors with Afghanistan and I think that such knowledge is important for my foreign policy credentials.

7.  I know which side of the microphone to point towards my face.  Also, I'm proud that I know this.  Moreover, I've never pointed the other side to my face.  It's probably because I'm not old an potentially senile.

6.  I'm not old and potentially senile, I'm at my peak.  This must make me think that I'm particularly special or something.

5.  I've never been tortured by the Viet Cong.  Such a privileged life I lead....

4.  I actually did well in school.

3.  My face isn't lumpy.

2.  I've never shot a moose in my life and think that it's kind of wrong to shoot wolves from a helicopter.

1.  I think that if you name your kids Trig and Track that you lack the judgment to serve in higher office.  


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