Who the Fuck is Denise Richards?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I made two observations today about the decline of the entertainment industry:

1.  Music has come to seem that it is mocking itself.  It is like Weird Al doing a parody of Weird Al.  In fact, the music that Weird Al does, seems to have more of a social message than the crap that filters through CK's shitty car radio.  I mean, my music tastes are terrible.  I actually like ABBA!!  For me to hate the crappola on the radio...Well, it must be pretty bad then.  That is all I need to say about that.

2.  Most television shows are crap.  Unlike most people that seem to work at colleges, I openly admit to loving, owning and watching television on a regular basis.  Recently I moved apartments.  Since my old apartment is close to my new apartment, I have decided to move things slowly throughout the week.  Of course, one of the first things I relocated was my television.  Me and the CK conveniently forgot the remote control at my old apartment.  

We moved the television to the ugly, ginormous tv cabinet that the university provided.  I turn the television on and sit my ass down on my new amazing couch.  The television was on a commercial.  Then the unexplainable happened!  It was E!  Like, the network Entertainment television.  This network is so flipping bad.  I can't believe that these shows are on, let alone even selected to be on the boob tube.  Since I had no remote, I stewed in anger on my new amazing couch and proceeded to watch the worst television ever.  Here is a rundown of the ridiculousness:

a.  The Chelsea Lately Show.  Okay, I have had the "honor" of seeing Chelsea Handler do her stand up routine in person.  I really dislike her -- REALLY.  She is just loud and downright mean.  It is one thing to be a minor celebrity making fun of other celebrities (think Kathy Griffith), but Chelsea is just a bitch.  She spent half the show making fun of one of her cohost because he has big teeth.  The other half was her making fun of a little person she has hired to sit on a stool off stage.  Come on!  I have vision -- hence the television.  I don't need some skinny blonde bitch pointing out the obvious.  Hey Chelsea, why don't you be funny?

b.  Sunset Tan.  This show revolves around people who work with the tanning industry.  Yeah, I don't even think I need to explain how bad this show is because that description alone made me vomit again.

c.  The Denise Richards Show.  Yes, my first question was, "Who the fuck is Denise Richards?"  Well, it seems she was in Wild Things and Starship Troopers.  She is an actress and model (or tries to do those things).  She has been named to 69 lists of "Sexiest Women blah blah".  She somehow got a show despite all this shittiness.  The only thing I would applaud her for is marrying Charlie Sheen.  Now that would have been a great reality show!  Mr. Sheen eventually divorced her.  Apparently boring and crazy just don't mix (and if you missed the memo from the '90s, Charlie is the crazy one).  The show revolves around how hectic and crazy her life is.  You know, that whole going through the multiple-year, public divorce and being unemployed yet filthy rich thing is just sooooo hard.  The last episode involved her being sad about the death of her mother.  She went to Dr. Katz (therapists to the stars!) to discuss her insomnia.  No joke -- this "Dr." recommended she take a warm bath and drink some warm milk.  For some reason, this makes me angry.

At some point, I did get up to turn off the television... Actually, CK woke me up from off the couch and turned the tv off for me.  Despite the television being so bad, I still watched it.  In hall honesty, if CK had not turned it off, I would have been trying to watch more.  I hate myself for it.  And as much as it might annoy me or anger me, I have to admit -- I probably would watch it again if nothing else was on tv.  How sad.